One of the most common discussions that I have with few new couples, who just enter or still feeling or deciding to enter in this lifestyle, is how nervous or anxious they are about where to start & how to start?
And I always answer them, first prepare yourself, make your mind, you must have few reasons why you wanna experience this lifestyle. I think that changes much as you gain confidence in yourself & as well in your partner. Over time for sure you will become to feel more comfortable and worry less, but it’s still always there for any couple the same nervousness & anxiety with lots of questions
We were fortunate enough, to start this lifestyle with our close friends, and already mentioned it was not decided or planned, it was happened incidentally.
When we decided later on that we would like to continue & explore this lifestyle ahead, my current job profile, helped me to interact other couples easily, where my activities in my job, helped me, because in everyday life I meet new people, easy to understand body language of others (as far as I know) but for people or say wives who stay at home within only their family, friends & relatives, it could have bit difficult to gel easily with some unknown friends easily in initial stage. But for us lifestyle brings significant impact.
So, I understand why some are more cautious than others. The many couples even think too much that what they should wear in their first meeting which can get entangled at times. I don’t know how many times I’ve been in a professional environment and I meet someone that is super sexy or handsome but in very casual wear, so believe me just be yourself it will help you more.
How do you draw the line? And how do you keep the worlds apart? My general approach has been not to get caught up in this separation. Skulking around like I am doing something wrong, that usually feels so right, doesn’t work. So yes, just be sure and make your own mind, not just if your partner want you to try this you have to be in lifestyle.
If you’re not sure, you have full right to decide and clear it to your partner no one has right to force you. Don’t be selfless you won’t enjoy at all, and this lifestyle is not for you, there must be reason for yourself, not just a wish of your partner.
The truth of the matter is regardless of whether you’re in this lifestyle or not, we all lead double maybe even triple lives. We are all one person at work, and one person with our families, our friends, our husbands. The fact that my husband and I have sex doesn’t seem to have an impact on how well bonding or compatibility we both do have. We both are separate individuals, I do my job, he has his own profession (and where there’s a lot of separate travel involved, and then I may be cranky or he also). So why would the fact that I have get involved with anyone else? I have a difficult time understanding people that say that what we do is WRONG. They imply that we are sinners and have poor judgement. That we are bad mothers because we are sexual beings and let other men and women touch us. That all the sex somehow makes us unfit.
These are really stupid thinking, I can be a good wife, aunt, mentor, professional, and still choose my sexual partners at whatever frequency and amplitude I want because we both have that understanding, compatibility & openness in our relation. One doesn’t affect my ability to be proficient in the other. And it doesn’t for you either. Everyone in the world lives some type of separated life from his or her real life at one stage of time, I’m glad that we chose this to be one of my spectrum.
So you decide your views, reasons, if you have some or even one, there is nothing to get nervous or anxious, no one has right to judge you for this.
Just be yourself!