Meeting with Fatima in Yerevan

Recently I have visited to Armenia in my short vacation with one of my very close friend. Yerevan capital city of Armenia, full of natural beauty. We have spent 4-5 days in Yerevan and have seen the life, history & architecture of the city.

This blog am writing about the experience in Night Club there which was very different and exciting relate to our lifestyle.Stripclub.png

So here is my experience, Navish was bit busy so he could not join us, only me and Mridul my one of very close friends from lifestyle have planned this vacation. So one night me and Mridul planned to visit a night club in Yerevan, not much far from city center. It was pretty open environment there. We just get to know at entrance that it is actually Strip Club and the clothing is optional for guests as well, but we decided to go with clothes as it was new city for us. It was place like sex club with private rooms available also for people to explore their sexual fantasies. But for such a sexually free venue, there are certainly a lot of rules. We ordered our drinks and were enjoying the atmosphere there, strip female dancers were dancing on the stage & stripping one by one once they get fully nude they dance for few minutes they left the stage and other girl take place.

There were few rules also as No photos, certain areas are off limits to men unless accompanied by a woman. No touching of any kind unless given permission. No means no, of course, but the club takes it a step further: only yes means yes. That means there are no sexy times until consent is verbalized, says Fatima, the marketing and events coordinator at Club. She was our host and was advising us about the place.

The clothing-optional space, where sex was not allowed but people can touch dancers and enjoy nudity, club by its nature vulnerable. The rules are to make sure everyone feels safe, comfortable and encourage people to talk. “A big problem with consent is people assume it’s something you don’t have to verbalize,” Fatima says. In fact, when it comes to nudity, there’s lots that people don’t talk about — but should.

Fatima, a queer woman who has explored swinging and polyamorous relationships in the past, says these types of strict rules — don’t make assumptions, ask before touching — are common in all clubs here in Yerevan she shared her experience also about “the lifestyle,” a term for consensually no monogamous couples. And, she says, rules make relationships better. She assumed Mridul is my husband but later I told her that he is my close friend.

Couples and the locations they go to play have to create an environment in which all parties feel not only safe, but also heard. These boundaries take away the grey areas, forcing couples to say what they do or don’t want and what they need from sexual encounters. And there’s a lot non-swingers can learn from them about building a healthy (and satisfied) relationship.

I told her about my blog site, and we were discussing about that successful swinging relationship is based on constant communication for “sex-positive” exploration of the lifestyle. Fatima told us she and her husband have been swinging for a decade. Before any party or outing, they agree upon a set of boundaries (such as they’ll always be in the same room during sex) and expectations for the evening (be it sex with another person or a night observing others). Afterwards, they always break their experience down: what they liked, what they didn’t like, and what would they like to try in the future?

While it might seem exhausting to always talk about sex, Also Fatima says it means both parties feel their needs are being heard. If her husband wants to try something new, but she’s not interested, the decision isn’t shut down entirely. Instead, they discuss both points of view and try and find a happy middle ground in which they can explore. No always means no — but that’s only the start of the conversation.

That consensus building trickles out of the bedroom, says Fatima, I was feeling like she is a professor of sexuality specializing in swingers. “I’ve had people say, ‘We used to have trouble with our finances — we couldn’t talk about this,’ and once we went into swinging, that (inability to communicate) went away. “Now, they’re able to talk about everything.” If you can talk about a taboo topic like sex freely, there’s nothing to stop you from vocalizing issues with the chores, he says.

She also explained how she and her husband, found in open relationship their happiness and health higher than their counterparts. “People will often avoid talking about things, because they don’t know how (their partner) is going to respond,” says Fatima. “So we hide. Swinging tends to pull that curtain, and allows them to have direct communications with each other.”

I also expressed my feelings to her about lifestyle and how a couple should make their own sexy rule book, which is really necessary.

Fatima suggests couples looking to spice up their bedroom can start small: make it a point to go to a shop, for example, to discuss what both parties might enjoy or not. To avoid embarrassment, make it a rule that neither party can wander off on their own: you’re in it together and that can decrease the awkwardness.

Watching porn can be a great way to get both parties in the mood. But before hitting play, Hunt suggests setting expectations: you’ll only watch for an hour, and collectively pick one act to try and re-create.

If you’re trying something new and don’t enjoy it the first time, Fatima says don’t shut it down right away. Commit to revisiting the act at least once at a later date, and if you still don’t enjoy it, then it’s OK to take it off the table for the future.

Great relationships need work, she says. Set aside a couple hours each week just to be with each other. No television, no distractions (and if you want, no clothes).

Make a relationship rule to do one sexy thing a day — even if it’s just kissing each other deeply for a few minutes, Fatima says. It doesn’t have to be anything more than that, but it ensures a daily connection with your partner.

We didn’t realize we have finished our wine bottles and kind of drunk, but I really enjoyed the very nice conversation with her. She invited us to visit again to club next night which I and Mridul happily accepted.

We have done few naughty things as well later in club which I will write in my other blog how was my experience to become a stripper in front of many people, Oh Yes! you read correct I experienced my first time stripping in club openly while my husband was not besides me, and it was amazing experience.

 

Please let me know about this blog,

With Love

Amaaya

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