Topic 3 – Cuck(H)olding (Part – 2) – Personal Perspective And Experience

My continuation of topic

Cuckolding is one of those topics that I’ve wanted to write because I was receiving so many requests from long time, since day one I started writing my blogs about swinging lifestyle, but I never really got around to actually having it be a topic. But last week I decided to pick this topic, and I did a triple backflip n asked myself, Amaaya! Let’s give your followers what they like to read about,

So my strategy for my post this time is to talk about some of the history and imagery associated with the term, and why I think people love it so much, then delve into my personal experiences with Cuckolding. I should warn you now followers, this very well might get a little…explicit. One last note before I really begin, as I seem to say often when talking about fetishes and kinks: Always talk, boldly and with no shyness, to your partner about what turns you on and gets you off. Talk to them about what scares you and what you don’t like to do or can’t do. Be open and honest and hold nothing back because this is not only about what gets you off, it’s also about your relationship as a whole. If you can’t be frank and unembarrassed with the person you’re going to fuck, then you shouldn’t be fucking that person.

Let’s talk about a cuckolds horns for a little bit shall we? When I first learned about cuckolds having horns I was confused and, to be honest, had no idea what the hell was going on. The meaning behind the horns, apparently, can be traced back to Rome. In roman society, when a soldier would come home from battle he would be given bronze horns as a sign of honor and esteem. Over time though, the horns took on another meaning altogether. The adage associated with the horns was simple, it was never a good idea to leave a roman wife alone for too long. The cuckold horns came to represent a failure in the bedroom, in essence, they were a direct attack on a man’s masculinity! References to cuckolding can be found all over the place in English literature, most notably in the works of Shakespeare who loved to use suspected cuckolding as a plot device.

Alight, history lesson over. Take a few breaths, slap yourself around a little, time for the fun stuff.

Navish never been cuckolded, the thought really holds no pleasure or arousal for him at all. That being said however, quite recently I asked him if he would like to be the other man in yet another cuckolded: Which hasn’t happened yet in our relationship since we came into this lifestyle…he told me it will eventually and lately we have experienced it as an experiment. That particular situation has some very interesting dynamics of its own, but that is for a later post.

From my personal experience and what I get to know from my known friends, there are a few ways that cuckolding can work, the basic premise is fairly straightforward. You have two individuals in a committed relationship, one of them gets to, with the permission of their partner, and have sex with other men. In male-female relationships the woman is usually given most or all of the power. This, like most things we talk about on this blog, isn’t always the case of course.

The last time I was involved with a cuckolded couple, it was two men and at the time I didn’t know they were 1st in a relationship, and 2nd they were cuckolded. I was sleeping, fairly regularly, with one of the men and, oddly enough, it wasn’t until very recently that I found out that it was a cuckolded situation. Some people might be upset by something like that, being used or what not, me personally…I didn’t mind. I’ve sense spoken to both of them together and they are happy as can be. They both know the rules and follow them, as defined by their relationship.

So, apparently how it would work was as follows, I would fuck the one guy, and he would go home and tell his girlfriend / wife all about it while he fuck his girlfriend / wife. One cuckolded man in the relationship said to me, when I asked about it, “Hearing all of the hot, sexy things his partner did with other guy have me on like nothing else. I fuck her harder, longer, and better after that imagining about the session, when being told that another man has had her. I get this need to reclaim what’s mine. You should try it sometime, you might be surprised.”

The other way it can work, so I’ve been told by others in cuckolded relationships, is that the cuckolded man will be in the room, watching their partner get fucked by someone else. This can take many different forms, most of them involving the cuckolded man being ultra-submissive.

The thing that I think I would have the most trouble with is the idea of being submissive. I like being submissive sometimes in BDSM play, but in something like this…I don’t know that I could do it. I have a fairly big ego and the thought of being submissive to another man as he fucks me is unfathomable. Polyamory doesn’t bother me in the least, being submissive to another person who is fucking me though? No thanks.

As always, if you have questions or comments feel free to tell me below or shoot an email our way at amaaya@theswingersville.com

This week’s topic is about a subject that I personally find fascinating. I have spent many hours reading the subReddit for cuckolding. When I first discovered this fetish, I knew that I would have to learn more to better my own knowledge and to be able to possibly discuss the topic if it ever arose in therapy with a client. I have never participated in cuckolding and this fetish does not do anything for me sexually.

I do enjoy the fact that the woman typically holds all of the power in these kinds of situations. I also am intrigued by how much communication must go into this fetish, if it is executed in the healthiest way. To be able to be so open about a “taboo” and sensitive fetish is fantastic! I applaud the couples that manage to make their relationship work and partake in this fetish! I can see how cuckolding can be so sexy; it’s one of the ultimate ways to display dominance and submissiveness. By acting in those roles, you’re on the extreme end of the spectrum in both cases.

The variance in cuckolding is interesting, as well. There are the people that go out on dates with unsuspecting people, sleep with them, and then return home to their partner (which is what Him discussed), there are the people who seek out people who will know about their reasons for the dates and know about the fetish. I know that these couples must do a lot of research into potential partners to let one of them go off to a hotel with them or even invite this stranger into their home.

The one aspect of the fetish that I don’t really enjoy is the practice of getting specifically an African American man (typically), having him cum inside of the female (in female-male cuckold relationships) for the purpose of impregnating her, and referring to this person as a breeder. For some reason the “breeder” term irks me, probably because it makes this man animalistic and it seems like it’s an insulting term. The act reminds me of slavery, but I’m probably looking way too deeply into this.

All in all, the subject is incredibly interesting to research. I invite anyone to do their own investigation and see what they think about such a touchy topic. Feel free to shoot us an email and share any comments or suggestions with us!

3 Comments

  1. I’d like to share a thought on the “Breeding” kink. One, if it doesn’t make sense to you then it isn’t a kink/fetish that makes you hot. You like some kinks, you don’t like others. Breeding is an animal phrase – it takes the participants back to our primal place in nature. The dominant or physically superior male gets the female. As a male that has been displaced by the stronger male, he loses the opportunity to extend his genetic line. The breeding fantasy that many cuckolds enjoy is about male (beta male) submission to the alpha male and erotic humiliation. This is one that should remain in the fantasy realm since, after all, we aren’t wild animals. It can still be an hot fantasy to those who do like to think about it.

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