Answers For Personal Questions Mostly Girls Feel Embarrassed to Ask

Ever wonder if what you experience between the sheets is “normal”? You’re not alone. Few my my girl’s followers asked me their personal questions on some common sex concerns we’ve heard from women. I tried to answer them from my knowledge & experience. Might be next time I will try to take more questions from guys too.

Question 1: “SOMETIMES, WHEN I’M HAVING SEX WITH MY HUSBAND, I START OFF AROUSED AND THEN LOSE INTEREST. I WANT HIM TO FEEL GOOD AND TO ‘FINISH,’ BUT I FEEL AWKWARD AND WOULD RATHER STOP. WHY DOES THIS HAPPEN? IS IT NORMAL?”

My Answer – Don’t worry—you don’t have some undiagnosed sexual dysfunction just because you lose interest, occasionally, during sex, “The key for you is to figure out what is working the other times when you participate equally”. “Perhaps your husband makes certain moves when you don’t lose interest that you find pleasurable. Knowing your body and communicating your wants, needs and desires are paramount when it comes to connected and satisfying sex.” But what to do in the moment when you lose interest? “Let him know how you want—or don’t want—to be touched. “If and when this does happen in the future, don’t be hard on yourself. You can stop having sex, and tell him you want to satisfy him in other ways. After all, switching things up may be the pleasure prescription to keep you engaged.”

Question 2: “SOMETIMES I FEEL EMOTIONAL AFTER SEX AND ACTUALLY CRY. IT’S EMBARRASSING, BUT IS IT NORMAL?”

My Answer – Absolutely normal! “Sexual behavior can trigger a range of intense emotions, from euphoria to sadness to anger,” Every woman experiences a sexual encounter through her own lens and attaches personal meaning and context to it.” For instance, she explains, you may be asking yourself questions like: Is our love as strong as it once was? Will I ever have a baby? Am I truly satisfied with my sexual life, my marriage? “All of these ‘wonderings’ can trigger intense affective experiences,” In addition, the physiological experience of orgasm releases neurochemicals, such as oxytocin, dopamine and norepinephrine, in the female brain that can activate a host of unexpected, powerful emotions.” However, if sex or the thought of sex makes you feel emotional or the type of emotions you face after sex are severe and debilitating, speak to your doctor or a certified sex therapist.

Question 3: “I FEEL LIKE I HAVE A VERY STRONG VAGINAL SCENT. THERE’S BEEN NO CHANGE IN DISCHARGE OVER THE YEARS, BUT I WORRY THAT THE SMELL ISN’T NORMAL. SHOULD I BE CONCERNED?”

My Answer – “Probably not, especially if nothing has changed. Many women are self-conscious about their vaginal scent and are probably much more focused on it than their partners are. In fact, she adds, many women who believe they have a strong or offensive odor are surprised to hear that their husband or boyfriend is either unaware of a scent or finds it appealing or erotic. Evolutionary research shows that scent is a key factor in erotic response and that ‘blocking’ natural odors actually interferes with evolutionary efficiency and long-term sexual satisfaction. Still, if you or your partner notice an obvious change in vaginal odor or discharge, consult your physician to rule out infection.

Question 4: “SOMETIMES AFTER SEX, I EXPERIENCE BLEEDING—NOT MUCH, JUST A LITTLE. IS THIS NORMAL?”

My Answer – It’s best to talk to your doctor about any post-sex bleeding, even light spotting. “Bleeding after sex—or postcoital bleeding, as it’s called in the medical world—can often be a sign of something abnormal, most commonly an infection, but sometimes something more concerning. But sometimes such bleeding turns out to be nothing—even natural. “Occasionally, women, especially teenage women or pregnant women, notice light bleeding after sex, which is due to normal developmental changes of the cervix.” Still, any bleeding should signal a visit to your doctor to rule out any underlying problems.

Question 5: “IS IT NORMAL TO EXPERIENCE CRAMPING AFTER INTERCOURSE—EVEN WHEN YOU’RE NOT EXPECTING YOUR PERIOD?”

My Answer – Yes. “Cramping after intercourse can be normal, especially if the cervix—the bottom portion of the uterus—has been jarred at all during sex, through contact with a penis, fingers or a sex toy. A cramping sensation can also, sometimes, be the result of discomfort in the bladder or urinary tract. To reduce cramping during and after sex, try emptying your bladder before and after sex.

Question 6: “IT’S SO EMBARRASSING, BUT SOMETIMES I PASS GAS DURING SEX. I CAN’T HELP IT! WHY DOES THIS HAPPEN, AND DOES IT HAPPEN TO OTHER WOMEN?”

My Answer – It’s normal and natural. “This happens to a lot of people. The female reproductive organs—the uterus, ovaries and vagina—are located in very close proximity to the colon, the largest portion of the gastrointestinal tract. During intercourse, any movement of these organs can also provoke movement of the colon, which is then able to release trapped gas.” And sometimes an orgasm can even trigger gas, thanks to relaxed muscles right before climax. Embarrassing? Yes, but it’s great to know that we’re all in the same boat here.

Question 7: “ONE OF MY VAGINAL LIPS IS BIGGER THAN THE OTHER. I’M WORRIED THAT MY HUSBAND THINKS I HAVE AN UGLY VAGINA! HOW DO I KNOW IF MINE IS NORMAL-LOOKING?”

My Answer – Every woman’s vagina is unique, and many are asymmetrical. “There aren’t any ‘normal’ or ‘abnormal’ vaginas. Still, if you do notice that your vagina has changed—for example, if there’s a lump on or a change in color of one or both of your vaginal lips—see your health care provider for an evaluation.” But if one side has been bigger since puberty? It’s just your own normal variation, Embrace it!

Question 8: “I’M WORRIED ABOUT THE FACT THAT I FREQUENTLY HAVE PAIN DURING AND AFTER INTERCOURSE. IT’S NOT INTENSE, BUT IT’S BOTHERSOME AND I CAN’T HELP BUT WONDER IF OTHER WOMEN EXPERIENCE THIS TOO.”

My Answer – The good news? You’re not alone. “Many women have pain during sex only in certain positions, with certain partners or at certain times of the menstrual cycle. This is often normal, though severe or persistent pain should be evaluated.”

Question 9: “WILL MY VAGINA LOOK DIFFERENT AFTER I HAVE A BABY, AND WILL IT MEAN LESS-SATISFYING SEX?”

My Answer – No one goes through labor and delivery without vaginal changes. But it’s not all doom and gloom. “It is totally normal for your vagina to stretch during a vaginal delivery. “The vaginal tissues are extremely resilient due to their elastic nature. Many factors can affect the healing process including the size of your baby, how long you pushed and how well your tissue has healed after episiotomy or laceration repair.” To help the process, do Kegel exercises regularly and give it time—at least 6-8 weeks. “Your sexual relationship can be healthier and happier than ever before.”

Question 10: “I’VE NEVER HAD AN ORGASM DURING INTERCOURSE—IS THAT NORMAL?”

My Answer – You’re not alone! According to research, only 29 percent of women report having consistent orgasms during sex—that’s a whopping 71 percent of women who either never have an orgasm during sex or only sometimes. “Many women require more direct clitoral stimulation during intercourse to achieve orgasm”. In other words, don’t feel bad if you just can’t climax from plain old intercourse—many women simply can’t, and there’s nothing to be ashamed of. But, if you’re interested in a little sex homework, grab your husband and try this suggestion: “Some women will be able to have an orgasm with intercourse if they have had a clitoral orgasm just prior.

Question 11: “I HAD UNPROTECTED SEX ONCE IN COLLEGE. I’M HAUNTED BY THIS, EVEN YEARS LATER. I’VE NEVER HAD SYMPTOMS OF AN STD, BUT SHOULD I GET AN HIV TEST?”

My Answer – Should you freak out? No. Should you get a battery of STD tests? Yes. “Your cause for concern is valid as anyone that has unprotected sex, even one time, can get a sexually transmitted disease. For peace of mind, you should see your gynecologist for STD testing, including HIV.” It’s important to note, that some STDs remain symptomless for many years. “Chlamydia, for example, is a sexually transmitted infection that can be silent while scarring your reproductive tract, which can lead to infertility,”

Question 12: “I REALLY FEEL UNCOMFORTABLE WITH ORAL SEX—BOTH GIVING AND RECEIVING. IS THIS NORMAL? HOW CAN I GET MORE COMFORTABLE WITH IT?”

My Answer – Sexual preferences, and likes and dislikes run the gamut. There’s nothing wrong with being uncomfortable with a certain position, including oral sex. But instead of keeping your concerns to yourself, I would encourage you to discuss with this with your husband/boyfriend/partner. “Have a conversation with your partner about it might find with some self-exploration, that a disinterest and dislike of oral sex could stem from pre-conceived ideas about sex. “Many women grow up feeling that it’s dirty down there thus depriving themselves of the full array of sexual pleasures. Just know that it’s normal for men and women to enjoy giving and receiving oral sex—so might you!”

With Love,

Amaaya

Topic 3 – Cuck(H)olding (Part – 2) – Personal Perspective And Experience

My continuation of topic

Cuckolding is one of those topics that I’ve wanted to write because I was receiving so many requests from long time, since day one I started writing my blogs about swinging lifestyle, but I never really got around to actually having it be a topic. But last week I decided to pick this topic, and I did a triple backflip n asked myself, Amaaya! Let’s give your followers what they like to read about,

So my strategy for my post this time is to talk about some of the history and imagery associated with the term, and why I think people love it so much, then delve into my personal experiences with Cuckolding. I should warn you now followers, this very well might get a little…explicit. One last note before I really begin, as I seem to say often when talking about fetishes and kinks: Always talk, boldly and with no shyness, to your partner about what turns you on and gets you off. Talk to them about what scares you and what you don’t like to do or can’t do. Be open and honest and hold nothing back because this is not only about what gets you off, it’s also about your relationship as a whole. If you can’t be frank and unembarrassed with the person you’re going to fuck, then you shouldn’t be fucking that person.

Let’s talk about a cuckolds horns for a little bit shall we? When I first learned about cuckolds having horns I was confused and, to be honest, had no idea what the hell was going on. The meaning behind the horns, apparently, can be traced back to Rome. In roman society, when a soldier would come home from battle he would be given bronze horns as a sign of honor and esteem. Over time though, the horns took on another meaning altogether. The adage associated with the horns was simple, it was never a good idea to leave a roman wife alone for too long. The cuckold horns came to represent a failure in the bedroom, in essence, they were a direct attack on a man’s masculinity! References to cuckolding can be found all over the place in English literature, most notably in the works of Shakespeare who loved to use suspected cuckolding as a plot device.

Alight, history lesson over. Take a few breaths, slap yourself around a little, time for the fun stuff.

Navish never been cuckolded, the thought really holds no pleasure or arousal for him at all. That being said however, quite recently I asked him if he would like to be the other man in yet another cuckolded: Which hasn’t happened yet in our relationship since we came into this lifestyle…he told me it will eventually and lately we have experienced it as an experiment. That particular situation has some very interesting dynamics of its own, but that is for a later post.

From my personal experience and what I get to know from my known friends, there are a few ways that cuckolding can work, the basic premise is fairly straightforward. You have two individuals in a committed relationship, one of them gets to, with the permission of their partner, and have sex with other men. In male-female relationships the woman is usually given most or all of the power. This, like most things we talk about on this blog, isn’t always the case of course.

The last time I was involved with a cuckolded couple, it was two men and at the time I didn’t know they were 1st in a relationship, and 2nd they were cuckolded. I was sleeping, fairly regularly, with one of the men and, oddly enough, it wasn’t until very recently that I found out that it was a cuckolded situation. Some people might be upset by something like that, being used or what not, me personally…I didn’t mind. I’ve sense spoken to both of them together and they are happy as can be. They both know the rules and follow them, as defined by their relationship.

So, apparently how it would work was as follows, I would fuck the one guy, and he would go home and tell his girlfriend / wife all about it while he fuck his girlfriend / wife. One cuckolded man in the relationship said to me, when I asked about it, “Hearing all of the hot, sexy things his partner did with other guy have me on like nothing else. I fuck her harder, longer, and better after that imagining about the session, when being told that another man has had her. I get this need to reclaim what’s mine. You should try it sometime, you might be surprised.”

The other way it can work, so I’ve been told by others in cuckolded relationships, is that the cuckolded man will be in the room, watching their partner get fucked by someone else. This can take many different forms, most of them involving the cuckolded man being ultra-submissive.

The thing that I think I would have the most trouble with is the idea of being submissive. I like being submissive sometimes in BDSM play, but in something like this…I don’t know that I could do it. I have a fairly big ego and the thought of being submissive to another man as he fucks me is unfathomable. Polyamory doesn’t bother me in the least, being submissive to another person who is fucking me though? No thanks.

As always, if you have questions or comments feel free to tell me below or shoot an email our way at amaaya@theswingersville.com

This week’s topic is about a subject that I personally find fascinating. I have spent many hours reading the subReddit for cuckolding. When I first discovered this fetish, I knew that I would have to learn more to better my own knowledge and to be able to possibly discuss the topic if it ever arose in therapy with a client. I have never participated in cuckolding and this fetish does not do anything for me sexually.

I do enjoy the fact that the woman typically holds all of the power in these kinds of situations. I also am intrigued by how much communication must go into this fetish, if it is executed in the healthiest way. To be able to be so open about a “taboo” and sensitive fetish is fantastic! I applaud the couples that manage to make their relationship work and partake in this fetish! I can see how cuckolding can be so sexy; it’s one of the ultimate ways to display dominance and submissiveness. By acting in those roles, you’re on the extreme end of the spectrum in both cases.

The variance in cuckolding is interesting, as well. There are the people that go out on dates with unsuspecting people, sleep with them, and then return home to their partner (which is what Him discussed), there are the people who seek out people who will know about their reasons for the dates and know about the fetish. I know that these couples must do a lot of research into potential partners to let one of them go off to a hotel with them or even invite this stranger into their home.

The one aspect of the fetish that I don’t really enjoy is the practice of getting specifically an African American man (typically), having him cum inside of the female (in female-male cuckold relationships) for the purpose of impregnating her, and referring to this person as a breeder. For some reason the “breeder” term irks me, probably because it makes this man animalistic and it seems like it’s an insulting term. The act reminds me of slavery, but I’m probably looking way too deeply into this.

All in all, the subject is incredibly interesting to research. I invite anyone to do their own investigation and see what they think about such a touchy topic. Feel free to shoot us an email and share any comments or suggestions with us!

Topic 3 – Cuck(H)olding (Part -1) – History – Theory – Psychology

Cuckold historically referred to a man with an adulterous wife. It has largely fallen out of use in the USA but remains in greater usage in Great Britain.  Elsewhere the term generally refers to a sexual fetish in which sexual gratification is gained from maintenance or observation of sexual relations by a woman with a man or a number of men besides her boyfriend, husband or long-term male sex partner.

History of the term

Cuckold derives from the cuckoo bird, alluding to the alleged habit of the female bird in changing its mate frequently and authentic practice of laying its eggs in other nests within its community.  It was borrowed from Old French “cuccault”, which was made up of “cuccu” (old French for the cuckoo bird itself) plus the pejorative suffix – “Ault”, indicating the named person was being taken advantage of as by a cuckoo bird.

In medieval literature, the “kukewold” was almost universally scorned instead of the adulterous wife, they were viewed as worthless due to their physical stature and somehow at fault for the adulterous act. The word was chosen in an attempt to connote scorn.

The female equivalent cuckquean first appears in English literature in 1562, adding a female suffix to the “cuck”; Wittol, which substitutes “wete” (meaning witting or knowing) for the first part of the word, first appears in 1520 and means a man aware of and reconciled to his wife’s infidelity (in contrast to a cuckold, who by the original definition had been deceived by his wife).

Modern western culture tends to shun infidelity as something abhorrent to discuss, so the very existence of this word appears awkward to many and hence its use in modern days is very limited.

Cultural usage of horn metaphor

In many countries “horns” are a metaphor for suffering the infidelity of a partner, not limited to husbands in modern usage. The gesture of the horned hand can be used to insult the cuckold.

In China, green hats mean that the person is a cuckold. It is considered a cultural faux pas to give green hats to a Chinese person. American businesses should avoid giving green hats to Chinese clients. In the Middle East the term refers mainly to a husband whose wife is unfaithful with his consent. The term ‘Father of Horn ابو قرون ابا قرن’ is also used in some countries in the Persian Gulf area. But the word الدَّيُّوْث is the correct/appropriate and mostly used in the Arab world.

Cuckoldry as a fetish

A cuckold fetishist is aware of his spouse’s activity, most likely actively encouraging it, and derives sexual pleasure from it. Among fetishists, the pose of reluctance—the victimization of the cuckold—is a major element of the paraphilia. The cuckold is almost always male; the term for a female cuckold is sometimes referred to as a cuckquean but is not as prevalent in popular culture as the male version of the fetish.

In the fetish cuckolding subculture, the female takes on the role of being sexually dominant, while the man takes on a submissive role. The man usually only becomes involved with the woman or her lover when she permits it — sometimes remaining altogether celibate.

This fetish can be completely heterosexual in which the husband does not participate or only participates with his wife, as well as (but more rarely) bi-sexual, in which the husband participates with everyone, or makes contact with the other man’s semen.

The fetish specifics can range wildly, from loving treatment toward the cuckold to complete humiliation and debasement. The husband may also seek other women outside the relationship, as in a swinging lifestyle. However, very commonly a requirement for the fetish is that the cuckold is somehow humiliated, whether this is acted out to be intentional or as some sort of by-product of the situation (e.g., the parties involved are somehow too sexually aroused to stop). Therefore cuckolding usually involves acting out a story or ritual involving humiliating acts, events or circumstances; it is not simply wife-swapping, swinging or sharing a sexual partner.

The wife who enjoys cuckolding her husband is sometimes referred to as a hotwife or frequently cuckoldress if the male is more submissive.

Theories in psychology

Psychology regards cuckold fetishism as a variant of masochism, the cuckold deriving pleasure from being humiliated. In one of analysis, cuckold fetishism is the eroticization of the fears of infidelity and of failure in the male competition for procreation and the affection of females]. In a book I read once from a psychologist who advanced a Self-Theory analysis that cuckolding (and other forms of sexual masochism) among otherwise mentally healthy people was a form of escapism. In this theory, cuckold fetishists are relieving themselves of the stress of the burden of their social role and escaping into a simpler, less-expansive position.

According to these theories, the cuckold fetishist seeks pleasure both from the act of being humiliated, and by giving pleasure to his partner(s). But cuckolding can be summed psychologically as “distributing sexual humiliation to the cuckold”]. If a couple can keep the fantasy in the bedroom, or come to an agreement where actually being cuckolded in reality does not hurt the relationship, they may try it out in reality. However, the primary proponent of the fantasy is almost always the one being humiliated, or the “cuckold”, and he usually convince his partner to participate in the fantasy for him, though other “cuckolds” may prefer their partner to initiate the situation instead. Indeed, the fetish fantasy does not work at all if the cuckold is actually being humiliated against his will.

Humiliation is “the feeling of being put down, made to feel less than one feels oneself to be.” Psychologists calls humiliation as “the nuclear bomb of the emotions.”, claiming it is an order of magnitude more powerful than any other, causing everything from interpersonal conflicts to international terrorism”. According to psychoanalysis, any feeling can become sexualized if it is somehow favorably associated with sex, especially in childhood. Because humiliation is such a powerful emotion, if an individual sexualizes it, he can in turn obtain intense sexual feelings.

Theories in evolutionary psychology

In one of somewhat controversial book I read a biologists speculated that the excitement and stimulation of the cuckolding fetish emerges from the biology of sexuality and the effects of sexual arousal on the brain, although it is important to note the word “cuckold” does not actually appear. According to one of theories, Biologists believes that when a man thinks that his female mate may have been sexual with another man, the man is prompted by biological urges to copulate with the female in an effort to “compete” with the other man’s sperm. Biologists also says few proponents of the theory of Killer Sperm, the idea that sperm compete not only for first access to the egg but by actually “attacking” other sperm. Although this idea appears frequently in cuckold fetish material, very few biologists share this view.

Psychologist’s and Biologist’s views conflict with the hypothesized foundations for sexual jealousy in evolutionary psychology, which is rooted in the idea that men, specifically, will react jealously to sexual infidelity on the parts of their mates. Infidelity is also the number one cause for divorce.

So it is couple’s own risk to try this part of sexual activity, unless until they do not have required trust and faith in each other with complete understanding.

As always, if you have questions or comments feel free to tell me below or shoot an email our way at amaaya@theswingersville.com

With Love,

Amaaya

Topic 2 – Exhibitionism: Intro, Precautions, Personal Perspective

This time I am going to write on topic is…Exhibitionism!

As so many couples have sent me this topic, whey wanted to know little more about it so then all of the sudden it just came to me today to let’s write about it! So anyways, here is the info & my perspective on it.

Definition:

Exhibitionism refers to a desire or compulsion to expose parts of one’s body – specifically the genitals or buttocks of a man or woman, or the breasts of a woman – in a public or semi-public circumstance, in crowds or groups of friends or acquaintances, or to strangers.

This disorder is characterized by intense sexually arousing fantasies, urges, or behaviors in which the individual exposes his or her genitals to an unsuspecting stranger. To be considered diagnosable, the fantasies, urges, or behaviors must cause significant distress in the individual or be disruptive to his or her everyday functioning.

Legal Issues:

When legal authorities become involved, and the behavior is threatening or anti-social, it may be defined as indecent exposure, depending on the specific laws of the jurisdiction involved, and can be subject to the arrest and prosecution of the exhibitionist.

Flashing:

Non-threatening exhibitionism may be physically expressed in two basic ways. The first, colloquially referred to as flashing, involves the exposure of a person’s “private parts” to another person or group of people, in a non-threatening manner, in a situation where these would not normally be exposed, such as in a social gathering or in a public place. The act of flashing, particularly when done by females involving the breasts but also when involving her vulva and also her buttocks, may be at least partially sexual in intention, i.e. to prompt the sexual arousal of those being flashed, in turn giving the flasher an ego boost.

Psychological:

Exhibitionism is not automatically a compulsion, but some people do have a distinct psychological tendency to sexually expose themselves, whether it is to “flash” (the nonthreatening form) or to “indecently expose” (the threatening form). When it is a compulsion, it is a condition sometimes called apodysophilia (a desire to strip, flash or appear naked in public).

Recently I read in an article, Exhibitionism firstly spread as a disorder, which was first described in a scientific journal in 1877 by a French physician and psychiatrist Charles Lasègue (1809–1883).

Exhibitionism can be considered a psychological disorder if it interferes with the quality of life or normal functioning capacity of the individual.

Treatment typically involves psychotherapy aimed at uncovering and working through the underlying cause of the behavior. Medications can at times be helpful to assist the client in resisting urges, but are typically not utilized in treatment.

Types of Exposure:

Anasyrma: the lifting of the skirt when not wearing underwear, to expose genitals.

Flashing: chiefly the momentary display of bare female breasts by a woman with an up-and-down lifting of the shirt and/or bra. It can also involve the exposure of a man’s or woman’s genitalia.

Martymachlia: a paraphilia which involves sexual attraction to having others watch the execution of a sexual act.

Mooning: the display of bare buttocks by pulling down of trousers and underwear. There tends to be a gendered double standard here: with males, the act is most often done for the sake of humor, disparagement, and/or mockery than for sexual excitement, whereas with females, the reverse tends to be true, and sexual arousal (or at least sexual attention) of those mooned is the intent.

Streaking: the act of running nude through a public place.

Candaulism: when a person exposes his/her partner in a sexually explicit manner.

Reflectoporn: the act of stripping and taking a photograph using an object with a reflective surface as a mirror, then posting the image on the Internet in a public forum. 

My Personal Perspective

Personally it is near and dear to my heart because I myself a bit of an exhibitionist. I’ve never had the urge to flash strangers or anything…though in my teen age or college life but since I get into swinging lifestyle, “I DO” started liking it, and nudity becomes more comfortable for me…. From No, never mind now I changed it to let’s do it, or Let’s try it till it won’t bring any personal threat to us. Mainly, I get on by the thought of people watching me have sex with my partner, they stare & praise on my body parts.

I’ve been flashed by some crazy dudes in a trench coat and those odd socks that attach to the calf. They weren’t some homeless person, I don’t even think they were crazy, I think they were doing the only thing they could to appease the compulsion to flash people.

I actually remember face more than I do their body, which was on the scrawny side. They had a look of both extreme arousal, and crushing shame fighting for control the whole time. They stood there, coat open, erection waving in the wind, for a good minute and a half before the shame won out and They covered themselves up, apologized, and high tailed it out of there.

I’m no psychologist, but in that situation, I don’t think flashing was something he wanted to do, so much as needed to do. When everything was said and done I didn’t really feel grossed out by the experience, I felt sad. Not for myself though, but for him, I mean, could you imagine the only way to get the constant urge to do something that made you feel shameful and disgusting to go away was to just do it and hope the compulsion doesn’t come back for a while? 

I love to expose parts of my body in public or to strangers, I definitely understand the thrill one might receive in doing so!

But we as exhibitionist, I don’t think everyone would want to see someone exposing their body to though, so that needs to be kept in mind always, that not everybody wants to see your genitals, butt, or breasts.

So you should have experience to judge your audience and Do’s & Don’t’s Also, I think if you are able to control it, so meaning that it hasn’t become a psychological condition, you need to keep that in mind, that not everybody is open and comfortable with this sexual act.

I definitely think that this topic is controversial because it can turn into legal and psychological issues. I won’t discuss the legal issues because that is pretty straight forward, but as far as psychological goes, and I feel this about any fetish or kink or fantasy; if it disrupts your life so much that you can’t resist the urge or it causes you to get fired, miss school, or whatever, you definitely should seek help.

Now, even though it can cause legal trouble, I think acts such as flashing, mooning, or streaking can at times be for fun and games (ex. Truth or Dare, at a football game streaking across a field, etc.) but you still need to realize that you can get arrested and end up dealing with the law.

For things such as candaulism, reflectoporn, or martymachlia, I think those are things for the bedroom or some sort of private forum. I can’t imagine many people want to see someone expose their partner in public or want to watch your sexual acts.

But whenever you try, be very careful, and always give priority to your own safety, and then you are free to enjoy as long as it gives you excitement, pinch of kink… Keep enjoying your journey!

Do not forget to give comments, your views & feedback!

With Love

Amaaya

Topic 1: Anal Sex (Part -2) – My Personal View & Experience

As I have mentioned in my first part of topic, Mostly men want to try anal sex with their sexual partner, and Navish is no stranger to the pleasures of anal sex.

But I had my reservations about this topic though in starting, not in the act itself, but in some of the things I’ve heard people talk about in relation to it and mostly about the pain it causes. But after experiencing it thoroughly I can say it, there are so many wonderful things that can be experienced when exploring anal sex, for any orientation or gender.

So here in this part I would say about my personal view & experience of “Anal Sex”

For some reason I constantly heard about how much anal sex hurts, I would say initially yes it hurts it pains and same was my experience but now after experiencing it with my sexual partners, my personal experience with the act I could say is amazing. If you take a phallic shaped object, and try to slam it into the anus with no preparation of course it will hurt. In fact, this can cause bleeding and tearing of the mucus membranes. I would say, “When you shove something up your ass, make sure to lube up and stretch everything beforehand. Also, if it hurts, you’re doing it WRONG.”

I’ve always looked at anal anything, when you are inserting something at the very least, as something to take your time with. Start getting ready at LEAST a week before hand, two if you want to be totally safe. Start with something small, like a finger. Lube it up and just play around back there for a while, there are nerve endings around the anus that can incite great feelings if you softly run a finger over them.

When you decide you want to start inserting your finger make sure you’ve used the bathroom beforehand and have washed the area. If you have a diet that had lots of leafy greens, this should clean you out pretty well. If your partner can’t get over a little poo when fucking you in the ass, then your partner shouldn’t be doing any fucking back there. Lube up your finger and slowly insert it, take your time and never rush.

After the first finger you can slowly start moving up to more fingers, when you have two in you can start to carefully scissor them, which will help to stretch everything out. A good rule of thumb is that if it hurts, don’t do it again and start from one finger again. As you continue to explore and play around, you’ll find that you can add more and/or bigger things over time.

This leads me back to the point of pain. If you prepare properly for any anal escapades, there should be NO PAIN WHATSOEVER. I can’t stress this enough, there is no reason for there to be any pain when you have anal sex. When you play around with your backdoor, it should be fun and pleasurable. Never, unless that is the goal, should it be painful. So, go forth my readers and diddle your backsides, and if you so choose, tell me how it went!

I myself had no personal experience with anal sex before marriage & entering in swingers’ lifestyle, but nevertheless it is still intriguing n enjoyable now. I think the main thing to remember when performing any sexual act involving the anus is to use tons of lube and a condom. I personally now have (or any) desire to do any sexual activities involving anal sex, because I know I am gonna really like it.

Do not stretch or do forcefully as it is shown in most of porn, It is unrealistic most of the time because they don’t show that you have to work up to it, and they just “dive” right in without proper stretching/preparation. I think that this causes some people to go into anal sex without proper knowledge and preparation and end up injuring themselves.

Communication is really important between sexual partners, for any sexual intercourse, but especially when there is a higher likely or injury if you both really wanna enjoy it.

Topic 1: Anal Sex (Part -1) – Information – Pleasure Vs Risks – Precaution

As I posted in some time before on all my social media handles, that I am thinking to bring some informative adult topics about which people do not like to talk much or might be do not have much information. I asked for suggestions for topics, and received so many such topics about which my followers want to read about, and I picked today first topic as “Anal Sex”, I know personally many men who are really interested in anal sex but do not know much about it so here I bring some information. If you guys like my blogs always give your feedback and suggestions.

Anal sex (also called as anal intercourse) is the sex act in which the penis is inserted into the anus of sexual partner. The term can also include other sexual acts involving the anus, including pegging, anilingus, fingering & object inserion.

While anal sex is commonly associated with male homosexuality, research shows not all gay males engage in anal sex and that it is not uncommon though in hetero sexual relationships. Types of anal sex can also be a part of lesbian sexual practices.

Many females find anal sex pleasurable, and some may reach to orgasm, as well through stimulation of prostate in men, and clitoral and G-Spot leg stimulation in women. However, many females find it painful as well, sometimes extremely so, which may be primarily due to psychological factors in some cases.

As with most forms of sexual interaction, anal sex participants risk contracting sexually transmitted diseases; anal sex is considered a high-risk sexual practice because of the vulnerability of the anus and rectum. The anal and rectal tissues are delicate and do not provide natural lubrication, so they can easily tear and permit disease transmission, especially if lubricant is not used. Unprotected anal sex is considered the riskiest form of sexual intercourse; authorities such as the WHO issue recommendations for making anal sex safer.

Heterosexual

Male to female

Some men may enjoy being the insertive partner in anal sex because the anal sphincter is usually tighter than a vagina, which can yield greater tactile pleasure for the man via his penis. The attitude of women towards being the receptive partner in this practice is diverse: while some consider it painful or uncomfortable, others find it pleasurable and some even prefer it to vaginal intercourse. Unlike the clitoris or anus, the vaginal walls “contain relatively few nerve endings, making intense sexual stimulation, pleasure, and orgasm from vaginal-only penetration unlikely” and “it’s generally only the lower third of the vagina that has enough nerve endings to feel any stimulation at all from a penis, finger, toy, or other penetrative object”. Vaginal intercourse may, however, promote a satisfying feeling of fullness or closeness with a sexual partner.

In a study female participants stated that stimulation to multiple erogenous zones simultaneously (the clitoris, the G-Spot, the anus, or other erogenous zones) enabled them to enjoy anal intercourse with much less discomfort compared to anal penetration by itself. When accompanied by one or more of the other stimuli, women were able to orgasm and those who did reported that an orgasm during anal sex is more of a full-body experience than an orgasm from clitoral stimulation alone.

Anal sex is held to carry a very low risk of unwanted pregnancy when not accompanied with vaginal intercourse, as anal intercourse cannot lead to pregnancy unless sperm is somehow transported to the vaginal opening in the process; in some populations, this activity is frequently used as a means of contraception, often in the absence of a condom.

The risk to the woman is greater than the risk to the man during male-to-female anal intercourse. The risk of injury to the receptive partner due to anal intercourse is many times higher than that due to vaginal sex, and the risk of transmission of HIV is higher for anal sex than for vaginal sex. Experts caution couples engaging in this practice to use protection, such as condoms, to stop the transmission of STDs. Additionally, if the man moves from anal sex immediately to vaginal sex without a condom or without changing it, infections can arise in the vagina due to bacteria present within the anus; this also applies to the use of sex toys.

Female virginity

Male-to-female anal sex may be viewed as a way of preserving female virginity because it is non-procreative and does not penetrate the hymen. Among sexually active heterosexuals, the concept of “technical virginity“, which includes anal sex, oral sex and mutual masturbation, is conceived as resting solely on penile-vaginal penetration.

Female to male (pegging)

Pegging is a sexual practice in which a woman penetrates a man’s anus with a strap-on dildo. I believe all men should try pegging at least once, as it may introduce them to a new enjoyable sexual activity and illuminate them to the receiver’s perspective in sex.  

Cannot say how many heterosexual men would like their anus to be sexually stimulated in a heterosexual relationship”, but from personal experience many men have enjoyed the stimulation. What we do have almost all relate to penetrative sexual acts, and the superficial contact of the anal ring with fingers or the tongue is even less well documented but may be assumed to be a common sexual activity for men of all sexual orientations.

Homosexual

Male to male

Historically, anal sex has been commonly associated with male homosexuality. However, many men who have sex with men do not engage in anal sex. Among men who have anal sex with other men, the insertive partner is called the top and the one being penetrated is called the bottom. Those who enjoy either role are referred to as versatile. Gay men who prefer anal sex may view it as “[their] version of intercourse” and as “the natural apex of sex, a wonderful expression of intimacy, and a great source of pleasure”.  “I think that anal sex has for gay men the same emotional significance that vaginal sex has for heterosexuals”.


Pain

Pain during receptive anal sex is formally known as anodyspareunia. One study found that about 12% of gay men find it too painful to pursue, and concluded that the perception of anal sex as painful is just as likely to be psychologically or emotionally based as it is to be physically based. Another study that examined pain during insertive and receptive anal sex in gay men found that 3% of tops (insertive partners) and 16% of bottoms (receptive partners) reported significant pain. Factors predictive of pain during anal sex include inadequate lubrication, feeling tense or anxious, lack of stimulation, as well as lack of social ease with being gay and being closeted. Research has found that psychological factors can in fact be the primary contributors to the experience of pain during anal intercourse and that adequate communication between sexual partners can prevent it, countering the notion that pain is always inevitable during anal sex.

Female to female

There is less research on anal sexual activity among women who have sex with women compared to couples of other sexual orientations, but stimulating the anus for sexual pleasure is stated to be a part of many lesbians’ sex lives; the anus can be rimmed – the tongue moved around its edge – stroked or penetrated with the fingers or a dildo.  When asked what techniques and lesbian sexual practices they used in their last ten sexual encounters, 100% reported kissing, sucking on breasts, and manual stimulation of the clitoris; more than 90% reported French kissing, oral sex, and fingers inserted into the vagina; and 80% reported tribadism. Lesbians in their 30s were twice as likely as other age groups to engage in anal stimulation (with a finger or dildo).

Health risks

Anal sex can expose participants to two principal dangers: infections due to the high number of infectious microorganisms not found elsewhere on the body, and physical damage to the anus and the rectum due to their fragility. Increased experimentation with anal sex by people without sound knowledge about risks and what safety measures do and don’t work may be linked to an increase in sexually transmitted infections. 

Infection

Unprotected anal sex, colloquially known as “barebacking“, carries an elevated risk of passing on sexually transmitted diseases because the anal sphincter is delicate, easily-torn tissue; a tear can provide an entry for pathogens. The high concentration of white blood cells around the rectum, together with the risk of tearing and the rectum’s function to absorb fluid, places those who engage in unprotected anal sex at high risk of sexually transmitted infection. Use of condoms, ample lubrication to reduce the risk of tearing, and other safer sex practices reduce the risk. However, a condom can break or come off during anal sex, so both sex partners must remain watchful during sex and there is still some risk if one or both partners carries a sexually-transmissible infection.

Unprotected receptive anal sex is considered the sex act most likely to result in HIV transmission. Other infections that can be transmitted by unprotected anal sex are human papilloma virus (HPV) (which can increase risk of anal cancer and typhoid fever), amoebiasis; chlamydia;cryptosporidiosis; E. coli infections; giardiasis; gonorrhea; hepatitis A; hepatitis B; hepatitis C; herpes simplex; Kaposi’s sarcoma-associated herpesvirus(HHV-8); lymphogranuloma venereum; Mycoplasma hominis; Mycoplasma genitalium; pubic lice; salmonellosis; shigella; syphilis; tuberculosis; andUreaplasma urealyticum.

I Became Slut During Exploration In Swingers Lifestyle

I Became Slut During Exploration In Swingers Lifestyle

And it definitely bring a kink in our sex life.

Hey all my fans & followers, I know my blog coming after long time. I got so many messages of your love & affection and questions about lifestyle, please always feel free to contact me and give your feedback. Actually I was very busy from last few months and then was thinking what about my next blog should be today I got some time and mood to write something from our exploration in swinger’s lifestyle.

In this blog of our continuous experience in series, is the reality of women’s sex lives who are in this lifestyle, as many of you know recently we made a vacation trip to Moscow a beautiful city, I really fell in love with Moscow & St. Petersburg. There we met with unmarried couple Vera (a pseudonym) a married woman & Ruskin who is unmarried but they both are in relationship who unexpectedly got into swinging during third-anniversary of relationship which they told us on a cruise trip.

So here is my story with them, Navish and I were looking for an adults-club in Moscow during our vacation to celebrate our next kink experiment. We came across a “clothing optional lifestyle takeover club.” The materials talked about dance parties, clothing-optional areas, and playrooms, including a dungeon (like a castle). We assumed it will be nice place to enjoy our next experiment in “lifestyle”. It was only after we’d booked the table that we realized it meant for swingers. We figured we could go, even though we didn’t plan to participate just wanted to go with flow as usual.

Leading up to the club, though, we got to know some of the other couples & singles online and began to make our minds. It started with talk of me being interested in playing with other women in Russia and evolved into “Let’s just go for it and enjoy all this club has to offer.”

We really didn’t know what to expect when we got there, and were definitely surprised. Some people were completely nude, some just topless, some in tiny outfits, and some fully clothed. No one seemed to mind, or even notice, what anyone else was or wasn’t wearing.

We also turned into semi-nude condition after liking the ambience of place. We danced with a couple Vera & Ruskin with whom we’d chatted with online. We didn’t get fully naked, but there was some flashing and roaming hands. As all of you till now know Navish and I are into “full swap,” which means that we are okay with penetrative sex with other people, but their (Vera & Ruskin) rules were stricter than ours.

After the dance club closed, we all went to the 24-hour open Bar which they told us about. After few drinks we left with them to their place as they invited us to stay with them.

At their place there were 3 beds spaced with small tables between them. We all went to one bed and started by getting undressed and making out with our own partners. Soon I felt the woman’s hand caressing my breast as I was kissing my Navish. Then Ruskin, while still kissing her, started to finger me.

At one point Navish went to the restroom. While he was in restroom, Ruskin went down on Vera while I kissed her and played with her breasts. Then we shifted and I went down on him while she went down on me. While this they told me that they are also into paid stuff and know some very good singles who could join us for fun and pay a handsome amount. If we are interested they can arrange it and have a group fun. When Navish came back from restroom, he watched for a minute, then joined us. Later they told him as well, Navish just looked at me & I nodded he understood my consent and asked them to arrange it. As it was not our first paid experience but yes with unknown people at new place it was gonna first for us, we are not regular in paid stuff, but it brings some kink and we just enjoy it as experiment & for our kink on our own terms & conditions. But this time we just opened up for idea for someone else we never met before.

We just finished our swap with them and it was awesome they both were pretty amazing in bed.

After some time, Ruskin just made few calls and in few minutes two Russian guys came inside the room.

The atmosphere of the room became naughtier and made us more open to trying new things. The guys told us they never had experience with any Indian lady before so it was first for them as well. But they asked if they both can enjoy with me alone means without Navish joining us, till them atmosphere was getting more hot and we all agreed Navish, Vera & Ruskin just sat on other bed, and the two guys came near me on bed.

After a little while, I started giving head while the other guy started licking me down. He’d had a lot to drink and to his dick was getting hard. We had tried threesome a before many times, but it wasn’t the same do not know what happened to me I was feeling like a slut inside somewhere. They played a little while more in same position, and then asked me to join them to the hot tubs.

The atmosphere of the room made me more open to trying everything there. Throughout the night, we had two more play sessions also later the guys asked Navish & Ruskin also to join in as gangbang & Vera was just watching till then & later they all made gangbang with Vera & I was watching it.

I can say this after several experiences, there has to be some physical attraction when we decide who to play with, but the connection we form with Vera & Ruskin was the bigger factor to get into all this. We want to play with people who are fun and stable in their relationship. We have a very low tolerance for drama. Since we play as a couple or individual in both ways, there has to be a all-way match in terms of attraction.

Next morning, Ruskin left for his work but we stayed there for some more time and other two guys were also there, we were talking to Vera and the woman stripped down to nothing in the kitchen and smile and just kept on chatting. This was very exciting for us, but we tried not to let it show & gave her more space to enjoy what she was looking for. Ten minutes later, Navish stripped down too. He suggested that other guys to do the same. Navish was down on her & other two guys picked me up and took me under shower, For the Next one hour we were just under the shower and they did not left a single part of my body to caressed and smooched I was cordial when they’d run into me.

I always thought swingers were people who would have sex with any random person. But those we’ve met want the same thing that we want: friendship with like-minded couples, and if we happen to have fun in sexual ways from time to time, that’s a bonus, we were really enjoying all of our fun happening there.

Nothing left to try their which we could think more, it was like group play, not just swapping partners.

In between we tried without Condoms as well. We both have veto power, meaning that if there is another man I want to play with without protection, Navish can say no at any time for any reason and it will not happen, whether he’s not comfortable with the guy or isn’t interested at that point of time & same happens with me. We rarely play without condom but at their place I became sluttier to enjoy & experiment more openly, but before we did it only with a couple we know really well, and never strangers.

Now we’ve become really good friends with them as well. In afternoon one guy left and only me Navish, Vera & one guy left we locked the door one the guy left and get naked again and played. After sometime Vera’s husband also called and she left for some urgent work.

Ruskin told us he will come in evening after work so not we & one guy was only at his place. We started to arrange dinner date and drinks. Ruskin came back around 9pm. He invited 2 of his college friends for dinner & drinks as well. After dinner he suggested we might play a game like sexy dice or watch a movie with sexual undertones. And all decided to go with a movie.

We started watching a movie & in between the other guy who was with us from last night again started caressing my nips over my top, and Navish was sitting beside me. In few minutes other men (Ruskin’s college friends) stopped watching movie rather started staring me and other guy while he was caressing my boobs & nips. And in few minutes we all were naked and it was my first experience of two consecutive nights with a gangbang experience, first night it was four guys but Vera also were there and this night now it is five guys & only me there in room then.

I was nowhere in mood to say no this time as well, and enjoyed two sessions in whole night with an awesome experience.

Swinging has helped our sex life in all ways but this experience really made me feel kinkier & sluttier, when we left next morning Ruskin’s place the guy handed over an envelope with very handsome money inside with note that it was his unbelievable experience for which he was fantasizing from long time but never happened and we made it real for him.

So it was our one of other experience, will try to bring more in coming days depends on my timing & mood till then

Ciao!

With Love

Amaaya